The LADbible recently got all nostalgic for the country gentleman whose biggest joy in life is romancing his VW beetle, despite a promiscuous background with other vehicles. This wild, wild past included sleeping with more than 1,000 other cars.

The perfect excuse for some car puns, we say:

  1. As the Huffington Post’s images showed in 2008, Mr Smith also had a predilection for helicopters – you can see his chopper, here. He may need some travel insurance if his love is taking to the skies.
  2. Since Mr Smith has sworn allegiance to his Love Bug, we hope he doesn’t get Herbititis.
  3. The last thing we want is for him to catch a sexual transmission disease.
  4. Obviously, only fools abuse their tools. We at Cuuver do not condone sex with inanimate objects.
  5. You don’t want to risk a suspension sentence.
  6. That being said, we hope he enjoys his automofeel.
  7. That’s going to be one messy brake-up.
  8. It’s assumed Mr Smith fell in love with his VW beetle for the sheer amount of junk in the trunk.
  9. Some of his friends disapproved of his relationship with automobiles… but the wheels were already in motion.
  10. He once tried to involve a Robin Reliant in the action, but it felt too much like a third wheel.

Time to stop, before we exhaust the subject.

This should not be construed as advice and is guidance only.